2.23.2009

More pondering...

Not much on my mind...Well, I take that back. There is, but only a little bit that seems remotely blog-worthy.

Joseph came home from school on Friday and informed me that he wanted to be a cemetery worker. Yes, you read that correctly. He wants to be the guy that digs the holes, and puts the coffins in the ground. Not the guy who mows the lawn. Uh...OK? They are doing a series on careers in school, and he decided that this is a important job, and he is more than willing to do it. I've never been so, um, proud?

Work is good, busy, but good. There are a lot of little things that need to be completed, and construction season is almost upon us...which means I should probably buy another case or two of wine. (I'm joking!) I have plenty of wine for the time being...

I'm worried about the little things. I worry about other people, and how they are doing, while ignoring my own important needs and desires. Is that bad? No. Is it healthy? Not at all. but where is the cutoff line? when do I become the person that is the priority? And don't tell me when Joseph is grown up...because that is too far away. I measured him the other day, and he was 47 inches. Do you understand how much that is?? Almost 4 feet. Wow. he is getting too big, TOO fast! but, thankfully, he still loves to cuddle. I don't have to worry about him never wanting to cuddle with us!

He informed me today that in 69 days, he will be a first grader. I almost ran off of the road when he said that.

I sometimes wonder if my anxious feelings are real, or just a reaction to being busy. What level of anxiety is OK? In college, I would say that I "thrived" on stress. Now...I crave the calm quiet moments. One of my very favorite is sitting out on the back deck, watching the sunset, and watching the bats fly around our backyard. So peaceful, so calm. and I have to wait several more months for that to happen!

However, I can live through my little seedlings that I started. After my disaster with the tomatoes, I am being more careful. So far, I have sunflowers, red bell peppers, and garlic that have started to come up in my little seedstart flat. Yeah! Bring on the veggies!!!

1 comment:

hcamel24 said...

Hey Jen - I too used to thrive on stress during school years but I know firsthand that I let stress beat me up too much at one point and became VERY, VERY, ill. Please take care of yourself...not after little Joe is grown up :) I am totally having a TON of the same "ponderings" you are...wondering about other people and ignoring my own/my families needs.
It will all turn around...I "heart" you :D