This is why it takes me forever to take a shower...

How cute is the puppy that has taken over our bathtub? Don't mind the shower chair.

2012 Resolutions...

Here they are - some small, some large.

1. Finish repairing turquoise quilt
2. Organize the basement room
3. Make a ring with both mom's stones from their wedding rings
4. Make a quilt from blue fabric pieces of batik that I found in the bottom of the chest from Indonesia.
5. Play Golf with Joseph this summer - several times
6. Take a hot air balloon ride in early October
7. Walk the Detroit Turkey Trot 10K on Thanksgiving
8. Be more optimistic
9. Blog more often - 3x per week
10. Love unconditionally (I'm pretty sure that I do this already - but I wanted to give myself a reminder!)
11. Write more handwritten letters
12. Recover successfully from my PAO surgery

Who did I let down this time?

You may notice that today is Monday - Jan 23...the day I was *SUPPOSED* to go back to work. Yeah, well, that didn't happen. I had a slight (painful) setback this weekend, and I realized very quickly that I bit off more than I can chew, and decided to spend another week at home. Sigh.

I have my post op appointment this afternoon...we will see how that goes.

I have been going a little stir crazy at home. I know this about myself. I cannot sit still for too time - or I go bonkers.

I'm very frustrated with myself - for several reasons. (1) Did I ask/expect too much of myself? or (2) am I being a wimp? Maybe both. Maybe neither. Either way - I'm frustrated at the end of the day.

A million ideas in my brain

I truly have to wonder what the side effects of Vicodin are...because I can't concentrate on anything for longer than 20 minutes that actually needs brain power. Maybe this is what adult ADD is like. I've been making a list (duh...of course I have) of all of the things I want to blog about. I think my challenge to myself will be to spend no more than 20 minutes on each post/topic...and get through them all. I have some funny stories. I also have some FYIs for anyone considering a PAO surgery ....lessons learned.
But I will leave you with one small bit of info. I have found some truly great friends in this whole experience, but I have also found out some people just don't have the time to care. While I realize that my surgery is not very exciting, I guess that my expectations of friendships has just been too high. Or...to put a positive spin on it...I have some amazing friends who set the bar SO high that the average friend/person has no chance of reaching it.

Love to you all--

starting the story

Maybe I'll start in the middle of the journey. Maybe I will bounce around with the stories and then summarize with a timeline. I don't know. I have a million things in my mind...I wonder why.

Today is day three at home. The first day was OK. The second day was OK. The third day...I'm guessing it will be OK too.

I have so many thank yous that I need to get out there.

I have so many good things I want to say about the surgery.

I have a handful of complaints....(thankfully not too many)

I have some funny stories.

I have some tips and tricks for those individuals who may have to have a PAO in the future.

I have goals and wishes and dreams.

(Which made me realize that I haven't shared my resolutions yet...that will come...)

This really sounds like this will be a series of lists...interjected with photos. I highly doubt I will post a picture of my scars...mostly because I don't want you to lose your lunch. or breakfast, or coffee. So - I will leave you with picture of my amazing family:

First recap and highlights

I know that i will have so much to say....i tried to keep a notepage in Evernote just to keep track of things that i wanted to remember and share:

I am on the pediatrics Ward.
I'm in pain. A lot.
Cpm = Continuous Passive Motion Machine. (In other words...torture device)

This list/posting is only a timeline of sorts....a brief summary...there will be plenty more later. Im tired and need another Vicodin...I'm in pain right now.

********
My amazing friends bought me a kindle to keep me occupied..I love them!
There was a hospital wide power outage (thankfully it was after my surgery was complete and i was in recovery.
I had Pain management issues to start.
Valium works wonders
Joe brought me fresh real coffee from home. That man is amazing!!
All nurses are being very wonderful and helpful
But...the Phlebotomist is horrible
I was not able to eat until I passed gas....which I proudly accomplished at 615 pm on saturday. Yay!
My friend/sister Betty came to visit on saturday night...which I really appreciated!!
I quickly achieved 90 degree on the cpm...wow.

Joseph is scared to come up to the hospital, after seeing me in pain and seeing the tubes all over the place coming out of me. We instead have decided to rely on email between just the two of us. He has his own email that I send letters to. I miss my little Guy a lot.

After not having a great first meal, i was starving at 130am on Sunday morning. The night nurse allowed me to have some Strawberry jello..which was awesome!!

The resident took the dressings 80 percent off on sunday morning at 8 am.

Sunday am ...switched to oral pain meds...Vicodin.  I would rather have lortab though.

We finally figured out that I had a pediatric menu so there are no gluten free offerings on it.

Sunday morning - first attempt at crutches.  Nearly vomited.  Blacked out from pain and was unsuccessful at using crutches.  i should not have taken painkillers right before...However ...an hour later , after the catheter had already been out I realize I had to pee... which meant I had to figure it out on my own how to use the crutches and the toilet.  Luckily the nurses were wonderful and helpful.

Figured out how to order celiac food from the cafeteria... deli sandwich no bread. And more of that delicious pudding from last night. 

Then...the Nutritional specialist came into informed me that the hospital does have gluten free bread upon request.  Nice to know that now. 

Joe came up to visit around 1130 on Sunday morning . He brought coffee again... which is wonderful.

Sunday night Dinner sucked...dry salmon and green beans.
Gf bread was horrible - why bother.

Slept on and off from 7 pm to 11pm on sunday evening.   Vicodin and Valium interchanged.  Valium doesn't seem to help, but it makes me mellow and sleepy. They always give me a Valium right before they ask if I want to attempt to go to the bathroom...which is quite a debacle in itself.

I have gotten Good at using the commode when placed right next to the bed.  I can scoot to the edge, then support myself on my arms to inch over to the commode.  It is still very difficult for me to not use my left leg, even as a weight bearing pivot point.  I can not coordinate the use of a crutch yet which has proven to be difficult. 

The pt assignments are hard. 
1. Sit on edge of bed/ chair and lift leg (with hand) 500x
2. Sit on edge of bed/chair and move leg in (w/o hand) 500x.
3. Lie flat in bed...no cpm for 20 Mon.   3x.  (Already done )
3. Sit in chair 3x. (I'm counting my time in the commode).

All for now. I'm tired and in pain. Waiting pTientlt doe my next Valium or Vicodin. I never know which to expect. Feel free to email or text me. Or even call me. However...if you do call, expect me to sound like I've had a few...which might provide for some fun on your end.

Love you all

Sent from my Samsung smartphone on AT&T

I have a Very. Weak. Stomach.

Oh. My.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5t6RWO8uG-g

 

Go ahead and watch it…but this is NOT for the faint of heart.  I couldn’t finish the video.

 

Here is another informational sheet:  http://www.hipandpelvis.com/patient_education/periace/page1.html (Be sure to click through all 4 pages)

 

This is what I will be doing in less than 48 hours. 

testing - are you out there?

With the New Year, and this pending major experience in my life (surgery), I’ve decided to revisit the blog, and make a pact with myself. 

 

“Blog: 3X” 

 

That means 3 times a week.  I’ll be blogging.  If you aren’t interested and want to be taken off of the notify list – please let me know, and I will do just that.  But, if you want to know all the details in my life – then, believe me, you’ll get them.  At least 3 times a week!! 

New Family Member

I'd like to introduce you to Kess - our 9-week old German Shepherd female puppy.

By no means is she a replacement. But the house was feeling empty. And lonely.

little vent.

Don't you wish you could just do MORE?



I listen to my friends that seem to have time to do all of the cool fun little things with envy. To me...it seems that I barely have time to crawl into bed at the end of the night. Exhausted. Now... I'm not running a marathon everyday... I know that. But my days are VERY busy. Is this a character fault or flaw? Or is it a character strength that I can handle so many different things? I sometimes feel like I don't know which way is up for the direction that supposed to be going... and I wonder if this is normal. And even what normal is for a working mom and wife.



Ok - vent over.



I am hanging out at home today...service call for the washing machine. Ugh.

First day of school picture - don't think I've posted this yet.

Halloween Ninja....

Back in the Groove, bit a little sad.

Because I've been gone so long... I will start with a summary.

I ran in the Detroit Free Press marathon relay. 6 miles. Through the tunnel underneath the Detroit River. I know....What was I thinking? The race was ok - cold and wet though. I also have just a little touch of claustrophobia. The tunnel was long. But - all in all - it was ALOT of fun.

It is hunting season so you know what that means. The hubby is gone up north trying to get our dinners for the next year. I don't mind being a deer with no but I really like when he comes home on sunday night!!

I'm doing the teaching gig at LTU again. It has its ups and downs but at the end of the day I do enjoy teaching. What I do not enjoy is the fact that it is an hour away from Ann Arbor and I have to take afternoon away from my office to go into each. I am busy at work and this time away is very tough. I end up coming in early and mostly bringing work home even over the weekend. The semester is just about half done so we still have several weeks left.

No major news about my hip... except that I now have a surgery date. January sixth. A Friday. This time is different though instead of being scared I am really excited for the surgery and looking forward to having a painless hip joint. Yes...it will be tough but I'm okay with that. I am so going to own that cane.

Work is awesome. I don't know how else to say it. I love what I do and I feel like I am making a difference. The people are great in the community.

The boys are good. The munchkin is the tallest in his class...and he weighs 78 pounds!! He is going to be a linebacker!! He still loves Legos, and is startingt o show an interest in the robotic Legos. I'm not sure about those yet...

We had some sad news last month - Dax is no longer with us. Yes - I still cry when I think about her. She was an amazing part of our family...and will always hold a special place in my heart. I can't think about getting another dog to replace her just yet. But...the house is eeriely silent. I still look for her when I come home. I still leave a little food on my plate for her, only to realize that she isn't waiting in the kitchen for me. Sigh.

Random 25 Things. (I love Lists!!)

1. I want to name our next dogs Sarek and Nyota. (both German Shepherds…btw)
2. I’m excited about my upcoming surgery (which, in turn, scares me)
3. I like red wine more than white wine.
4. I’m learning to like good scotch.
5. Nutella doesn’t taste as good as it did when I was in Germany (19 years ago).
6. I wish I had more time to be introspective.
7. I am constantly surprised with the way life turns out.
8. I like dinner parties.
9. I think of my mom when I see a penny on the ground. She is saying hi to me from Heaven, or wherever she is.
10. I also think of my Mom when the lights flicker. She is saying hi then too.
11. I think people complain too much.
12. I wish I knew how to pluck my eyebrows by myself. I can’t do them. I have to pay someone else at the salon.
13. I am avoiding our backyard right now because it reminds me of Dax.
14. I want a wine cellar in my house.
15. I’m really clumsy.
16. I’m a deer widow insomniac.
17. I’m singing with a Festival Chorale next summer. Verdi’s Requiem. (Yes – I’m very excited!)
18. I love our new camper.
19. I like gluten free graham crackers.
20. I love sunrises.
21. I don’t like clutter. But, I like piles. (Shut up – they work for me.)
22. I like snarky humorous artwork.
23. I collect coffee cups
24. My perfect vacation would be a cabin in the UP on Lake Superior.
25. I need to make time to run more.

yeah, so...I posted too early for that previous blog post. We didn't buy THAT camper...we bought this camper.

:)

We bought a camper. We take delivery tomorrow. It looks like this. Yes - I am in a little shock...I wasn't planning on buying one, I just wanted to go and look and see what I liked, and didn't like. but...we now have a camper. I'm a little excited, and a little apprehensive all at the same time.

School starts for the boy in a week. Wow. We will have a 3rd grader in a week. I remember my 3rd grade year very clearly. I had an awesome teacher, and I had awesome friends. I also got glasses that year. I loved math, and reading, of course. I loved horses (what little girl didn't?).

Work is good. crazy busy, but good. I also start teaching this week at LTU. I'm excited, but also kicking myself...I'm going to be so busy for the next 4 months. ARGH!!!

Blue Angels and the Air Show

I love the Air Show. I mean, I REALLY love the Air Show. We went this year, and it was Hot. But the heat didn't matter...because we saw the BLUE ANGELS!!!!

They also had a WWII re-enactment camp going on - and the boy (of course) had to check things out over there. I should have gotten him some dog tags too! The re-enactment also included ground artillery fire during the Zero vs. Aces Dogfights going on in the air. So cool.

Detroit Zoo

A few weeks ago, we went to the Detroit Zoo with some friends, as a part of a Walk-A-Thon for the Clinton River Watershed Council. (yay!)

Just a few pics of the boy:

I can't believe how old he is getting...and how grown up he looks.

Kayaking.

Have you enjoyed the break from blogging? I haven't...I've just been busy with work and life. This Summer has started off so busy for us - which is good, I suppose. So - I'll just jump right in -

2 weeks ago, there was a snafu with childcare. I had called to reserve a spot for Joseph at the day camp at Lifetime. When I called the day before to confirm it, they politely told me that the day camp wouldn't be open until the following week. So - Joseph came to work with me. and he was VERY good - he was quiet, he read books, he played on his PSP, and he even came to a few meetings with me. The last meeting of the day was at Gallup Park, for Huron River Day. (If you aren't going - you should be.) Anyway - he was GREAT, and the woman who operates the canoe liveries (she was in the meeting with us, and has raised 2 boys) commented on how well Joseph behaved, and asked whether I would be doing something special for his good behavior. I said that I would probably stop for a chocolate shake on the way home - to which she replied "Not good enough!!" and then proceeded to offer us the opportunity to go kayaking on the Huron River. Right. Then. and. There.

Joseph hasn't stopped talking about it since then!!

However, it did give me a few moments to reflect on why I enjoy my career path...If you haven't been kayaking on the Huron, or kayaking on ANY river for that matter - Do. It. Now.

And check out Joseph's video:

Changing Places and Roles

I've been thinking a lot about friendships. Are they more or less important as we grow older? Do they mean the same thing to others? Do they mean the same to me? Are friendships worth the effort? Are friendships important as we grow families and careers?

I feel pretty lucky to have some amazing friends in my life. Some of them I have known for almost 30 years. Some of them shared growing up and teenage troubles with me. Some of them I have only known since college. Some of them I have only known since I started my career. Some of them I have only known for less than a year. Are they all important to me? YES. Am I important to them? I hope so...but I'm not so sure anymore. Bear with me...

I understand that friendships change over time. I also understand that some friendships take a wrong turn somewhere and can not withstand difficulties. I have lost a few friends from change in geography. I have lost only a few friendships for stupid reasons (some of which I still don't understand). But it still isn't easy to lose a friend.

Losing a friend, or losing contact with a friend hurts. It hurts a lot. It amazes me how *little* some people value a friendship. Sometimes there are trite issues that split people apart. But what I find is this: people don't put effort into friendships.

A good friendship doesn't come easy. A friendship needs to be nurtured. If both people don't actually put in the effort to BE friends - then the friendship won't work. I've seen this so many times...and it hurts. I tend to always be the one that makes the effort - because I care about my friends. I think I care too much. I don't like losing friends. Friendships are needed. Friendships make you a better person.

When was the last time you nurtured a friendship?

Plants and Digging to the Inner Crust of the Earth

I think I overdid it. Like usual. I planted all 72 plugs with seeds...and every single one germinated. I think I will be giving away baby plants to friends, once they get big enough. You know - I do this every year...I should know better. But, better to be safe and have too many veggies than none!!

Joseph has decided that he wants to dig to the next layer in the Earth's crust. (Those were his words...not mine....Thank you Second Grade Science.)

He has made alot of progress...in the MIDDLE of my garden. He isn't very happy when I remind him that the holes will be filled in by April 15. He can stand in the hole, and is still working on it as we speak. The sanitary lead is under there somewhere - I'm hoping it is deep though.

Cookbooks

Ever notice how a memory that doesn't really exist can seem so powerful, even if you KNOW you were there, but you just can't remember it?



I've been doing some spring cleaning (er...getting rid of clutter)...and came across something that is clutter, but I won't ever get rid of...My birth Mom's cookbooks. I don't know the story behind why she wrote down and chronicled about 8 spiral notebooks full of recipes. And some mini-3-three binders. And a photocopied packet from an Indonesian cookbook.



Many of the pages are splattered and stained. Some are crossed out. Some have notes in the margin; "Great" or "made 3/13" or "needs more salt". Some phone numbers are jotted down in the margin. Some pages even have crayon scribbling across the entire page. I have to believe that is my doing. Which means I was there.



I was there when my mom made Banana Bread, or Mud Cake, or Lemon Chicken (yes - those are all written on the same page). I was there when she found a recipe to write down and make for her family. I was there when she spilled the 1/2 cup of water onto the cookbook (which explains a lot...seeing that I spill EVERYTHING also).



But more importantly - I. Was. There. You see - I can't remember anything about my mom. I spent 6 years with her, but who can remember times from before they were 6? I have photos. I have events that are vague. I have what people have told me...but I don't have my own memories. And that isn't fair.